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Genre And Your Swim Lane by Noah Baird

My publisher asked me what project I was working on. I replied I was working on two children’s books. After some discussion, he suggested I may want to publish the books under a pseudonym. A pseudonym...

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A Writer Looks at 40 by Noah Baird

I’m in a little bit of a holiday savings time warp. I’m beginning to think Thanksgiving is only a grocery store holiday. Every other store goes from Halloween to Christmas. Here’s something you don’t...

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A Jerk’s Guide to Comedy Writing or Rubbing the Four Humors

I was recently asked to contribute a chapter on comedy writing for an upcoming book on writing. As I was figuring out what I want to write, something occurred to me: I have no idea how to explain what...

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Not Seen in Bookstores by Noah Baird

I recently read an article on the plight of the independent bookstore. The point of this particular article, similar to other articles I’ve read, was independent bookstores were having difficulty...

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What Your Favorite Punctuation Says About You

Colons: List creators of the world unite. Colons are used after a main clause to list off a series of items (For my birthday, I want: two monkeys jousting on the backs of Golden Retrievers, a stripper...

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What Writers Can Learn From Playwrights by Noah Baird

I was recently invited to sit in a local playwright group. They were working on an original comedic play, and asked me to help polish some of the humor. While sitting in was great fun; something...

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You Don’t Know Easter by Noah Baird

Hi, everybody. It’s the time of year when we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ, or as it’s known in my house – the spontaneous zombification of a religious figure day. The kids don’t care...

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Raising Readers – Maurice Sendak is Dead and I Don’t Feel So Good Myself

I was lying in bed reading a book one night, when my oldest son came in. “Dad, I can’t sleep. Can I read in here for a while?” The answer wasn’t even out of my mouth before he dashed out of the room to...

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Double Talking Jive and the Language of Women by Noah Baird

I’ve noticed recently that women have tricked us. I don’t know when it happened. I don’t know how. All I know is they’ve subtly altered the lexicon without anyone noticing. It all started when a woman...

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Naming Whales

Imagine if we learned how to communicate with whales. And then imagine if they learned what we call them. The research vessel gently bobbed off the coast of California. The mid-afternoon sun reflected...

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